The Web of Abuse
featured at Shadows of Control
It is that spark of vulnerability, that something that allows for the connection to happen, the meeting of the emotional stars. It may seem so satisfying and curious at first but it is more than anything you may have had before and maybe in some ways it is better. The intensity of it, the rush, the speed, the love-talk, the love act, doesn’t it all happen so fast?
Within the speed is the dangerous whirl, that spinning vortex that before you can climb out of it you have begun to be sucked into it. It happens when you are so caught in the moment of the thrill and the chase that you do not see that the vortex is turning and you are yourself turning and turning. But what was it that drew you in? That spot, that place of vulnerability, that area in the heart that likes being flattered and charmed and made to feel that beautiful and important or valuable.
And before the vortex is done swirling you and around and whirling you into a powder, other things are entering in. The intensity of the vortex begins to have dark chakras, the energy goes sideways, the shock value begins to shock. Am I different now that he is in my life? Did I do something wrong here? Is he just in a bad mood? Why do I get this feeling of foreboding? Why does this weird sense of fear come upon me? Of course, it is just that this is so new and real and intense and wonderful, but why do I feel afraid somehow and why does part of me want to get away?
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